If you've been watching my Instagram or Facebook feeds, you already know that Marcus, Alex and I have been having a whale of a time visiting Marcus' family, first in Cornwall, and then in Gloucestershire, with a day trip to Herefordshire. It has been so good connecting with everyone again, and I'm always amazed that each time we come, we experience a new part of England that we hadn't before. This time has been no exception, and I am beyond grateful for our family time together.
Last night however, I inexplicably woke up in the middle of the night (I'd like to blame jetlag, but I've actually not felt very fatigued since I've been here). In the darkness, I turned on my iPad just in time to learn of the no-indictment decision by the Darren Wilson grand jury. I wish I knew what to say or how to respond to this. To be honest, I'm not surprised in the least. But I am numb. And discouraged. And heartbroken. And of course, I remain very, very affected.
And so (somewhat in the spirit of denial), I'm going to take the next few days focusing on the rest of our family time together here in Marcus' homeland, and feeling gratitude for all of them. We leave for London in the morning, and I'm going to be particularly intentional, these last few days of our holiday, about looking for the light. It is, after all, how I cope. And besides, I strongly suspect my disappointment and disillusionment will still be there when I get back to America.
So, forgive my silence, friends. I simply wanted to pop in and say that even though I'm away from home, I am awake and aware. I wanted, despite (or perhaps especially prompted by) all of the horrible, horrible news, to wish you love and peace this holiday week. Maybe all of this could be enough for us to start being especially mindful of being kind to each other, and even more importantly, to listen to one another.
Only time will tell, of course. Admittedly, it's hard to imagine right now, but I'm keeping hope alive.
Anyway, most importantly: my deepest wishes for peace for all the good people of Ferguson, Missouri, and most especially the loved ones of Michael Brown. You are all in my most heartfelt thoughts and prayers.