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alex's life book

  • In early 2006, I began creating a life book for my daughter, Alex. Click here for links to articles describing my experience.
  • And for those of you who are more digitally inclined, in late 2006, I recreated key pages of Alex's lifebook for an article I wrote for AlphaMom, using Scrapblog.

    You can see the final digital result (and leave comments, if you'd like!) here.

what's been on my nikon lately

  • And you can view my favourites here.

if i'm not here, i'm here

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a girl and her coconut -- NOW WITH UPDATE!

Coconutgirl


"Hey ... mom?"

"Yes, darling?"

"You're going to the stylist on Friday... today, actually... right?

"I am indeed."

"Yeah, okay. Well... is it true that by the time you leave the stylist, your head will be round and smooth? Round and smooth like ... well, like this coconut, here?"

"We'll see, darling. We'll see."

___________

UPDATE: Two things:

1. The lovely ladies at BlogHer have told me that I'm merely 28 survey responses away from being "statistically significant." So, if I could impose on you just one more time, if you haven't taken the BlogHer Co-op survey, please do so by clicking here or on the link to the top left.

Please.

I hate being insignificant.

2. I'm back from the stylist, and have showered and messed with my hair myself.

Photo to phollow:

Newhaircut

So, sort of a hairy coconut, I guess.

Thanks to all of you for your help!

speaking of big hair

Bighairalex

Wow -- thanks for your lovely sentiments on my previous post, everyone -- but man, you guys are just as bad as my husband. Although I haven't done a scientific tally of all of the votes, it appears to me that they're falling along the lines of 50-ish/50-ish long to short, with a few abstainers and other ... interesting ... suggestions (Lala -- thanks for the "extensions" idea, but seriously -- I can barely control the hair I have now -- putting more on my head is not an option!). Nonetheless, some of your comments have helped cement my decision, so when I go in to the stylist at Friday, at 11:30 a.m. Trinidad time, I know exactly what I'm going to tell him to do.

It is also entirely likely that he will talk me into doing something else. He's persuasive like that, and I'm weak like that. So who knows WHAT I'll emerge looking like at the end of this week.

In other news... I have no other news. I'm a sad, sad little person with no other news. I'm writing up a storm, and working on getting the new Indigo Leaf out, and toiling away on all sorts of other things, and frankly, I'm just beat tonight. I'll post more soon, I promise.

In the meantime, I leave you with this picture of Alex, and her big hair. And is it me, or does this kid look at least twice her age in this picture? Kid looks 4, easy.


short or long?

Shortorlong

All my life, I've vascillated between short hair and long hair. I get tired of dealing with all my hair (and trust me, I have the thickest, most pain-in-the-neck hair known to womankind), so I cut it all off. And then I get tired of not being able to do anything different with my hair (not that I do anything "different" when it's long), so I grow it out. And then sometimes, before I even give it a chance to get long, I get fed up with the sort of in-between stage it's in, and I cut it all off.

Now is one of those times.

With a little luck, I'm going to be booking an appointment with a stylist this coming Friday. And I will either suck it up, and just get a trim, in the hopes of continuing to grow it out into a nice big 'fro, or I will finally just lose it and have the guy cut it all off.

Ultimately, it helps to have the end-result in mind, and actually, I think I know which way I'm going to go. I've also nagged Marcus to death, and finally got him to admit which way he would prefer (although he swears he likes my hair one way by only 51% of the vote, and the other way 49% -- so, basically, he's no help). So, I've decided to take an informal poll:

Which way should I go on Friday? Should I cut it all off, and look like I did a few years ago (albeit a few years older), as shown in the first and third pictures? Or should I just keep growing it, looking pretty much like I do now (in the second and fourth pictures), but with even more hair?

I can't promise I'll go with the popular vote, but I'd be interested in hearing which way you prefer.

Shortvlong


on becoming a writer, and an update on indigo leaf magazine

Starsforhenry
Stars for Henry, my new little nephew. May he always reach for them.

Over the last couple of months, I've received several e-mails asking for advice on how to become a writer. At first, I'll admit the question shocked me: I mean, I'm so new to this myself, it seemed astonishing that someone would actually come to me for counsel on writing! And yet, over this same period, I must admit that a writer is exactly what I have become, and as more writing gigs come my way, a writer is exactly who I believe myself to be.

So, while I've answered all of the people who e-mailed me personally, I thought I'd go ahead and tell you here about some of the things I've done (and continue to do) that worked for me. I don't presume to think that what I say here will work for everyone, and I'm sure that there is some really insightful bit of advice that I'm totally overlooking, but hopefully, for those of you who want to be writers, you'll find something in this post to take away with you and make it your own.

So, in my opinion, if you want to be a writer:

1. Start telling people you're a writer. Notice that I didn't say "start telling people you want to be a writer" -- the point is to start believing in yourself that you are, in fact, a writer.

I know this seems like it's a lot easier to write than to actually put into action, and in fact, it is. However, when I was first starting out, a very good friend of mine e-mailed me and advised me to order business cards with my title as "writer," and start handing them out to everyone. "What you say you are, you will become," was her sage advice. So I did. And for me, it worked.

2. If you want to be a writer, write. This is age-old advice, but it definitely worked for me. And, thanks to the technology of today, blogs are a great way to help develop discipline in writing -- I believe more so than private journals. While journals do allow you to exercise your writing muscle, I think blogs add something extra -- they give you an automatic audience. You get feedback. You write more consciously. In addition, blogs allow you to have a showcase of writing samples -- so when you're pitching yourself for a writing gig, you automatically have a "portfolio" of work to show your prospective employer!

To that end, if you want to be a writer, and you do have a blog, my advice to you is treat your blog as a portfolio -- write as honestly as you would in any event, but watch for spelling errors. Punctuation. Grammar. Make sure that your writing flows logically. But write the thing as if you were a writer. Because you are.

3. Finally, if you want to be a writer, READ. I recently attended a writing workshop, and one of the speakers was a journalist and a published author. The advice of reading-if-you-want-to-write is hers, and I found I couldn't agree more. Seek out authors whom you love -- particularly ones whose style you like, more so than the subject matter of their writing -- and read them voraciously. I guarantee it will affect how you write, as well. One of the greatest compliments people can give me is that they enjoy the "conversational" feel of my writing; this sentiment warms me like no other, particularly because one of the authors I enjoy most is Bill Bryson, whose writing is nothing if not conversational. While I certainly don't think I'm any Bill Bryson, it's good to think that perhaps my attempts to emulate his easy writing style might be paying off.

That's pretty much all the advice I can think of off the top of my head -- although, I'm sure many of you accomplished writers out there have some advice that you can give as well. Feel free to leave additional tips in the comments below. And good luck to those of you who are at the very beginning of your writing careers -- please continue to drop me a line and let me know how it's going.

Now, to Indigo Leaf: Even though the deadline for the upcoming April issue has long come and gone, I'm going to extend the deadline through the end of this week. I'm really short on submissions, so I encourage all of you (especially those of you who are yearning to become writers) to submit. In addition, because clearly people have a preference for submitting anything but "arts & entertainment" and "books & music," for this issue and every issue going forward, I'm changing the topics for Indigo Leaf Magazine to the following:

art/photography
life
fiction
poetry

So, for all of you, EVERY ONE OF YOU, but especially for you poets out there, now's your chance: submit early, and submit often. I look forward to reading your work. My goal is to publish the latest issue of Indigo Leaf (the upcoming theme: "Breathe") the first week of April.

______________

Updated to add: As luck would have it, there's a new website in town -- Inkstains -- which is sort of a "literary conversation in progress." The lovely ladies behind the website asked me to contribute a piece, which I did -- sort of an expansion on a post I'd written here on Chookooloonks before, but tells in more detail how I came to be where I am today. In any event, regardless of what I've written, do check out their site, because I think they're onto something big.

no longer requiring us to hold on

Alswimming


"MUMMY!! MUMMY!!! LOOK at DAT!! Allie swimmin' ALL BY 'SELF! COOOL!"

my cup is half full tonight

Sundownmaracas
The beginnings of sundown, Maracas beach, Trinidad

Remember a couple of months ago when I was feeling a bit down about the situation here in Trinidad?

Well, every now and then, I have a day like today, when I wonder to myself why I'd ever want to leave.

This evening, our friends Joanna and Peter invited us to spend some time with them at Maracas bay, the beach that's only about 15 minutes away from our homes. It's funny: on weekends (especially Sundays), Maracas is generally teaming with people, and on some small level, it feels like a tourist beach. Not that there are many tourists who visit, mind you, but with all the blankets and people, it feels that way.

During the week, however, in the evenings, it feels more like a neighbourhood beach. Hardly anyone else is around, the sun isn't as hot, and everything's just quieter. And as I sat on the beach with my good friend Joanna, and we watched our husbands and daughters build sandcastles and dig motes in the sand, I couldn't help but feel that I never, ever wanted to leave this beautiful, vibrant, wonderful island of mine.

So here are a few photos from this evening. Enjoy.

Minstrelmaracas
A musician who stopped to share some of his talent


Vendormaracas
A vendor who was shutting down for the day, and on his way for an early evening swim

stop with the asking! and the questions! and the asking!

Yellowflower
Beautiful yellow flowers. And I don't even like the colour yellow.

The lovely ladies of BlogHer have asked me to ask you if you would, pretty please, participate in a very short survey. The survey is only (I promise) 1 page long, and asks you simple questions like if you're ever likely to visit Chookooloonks again, that sort of thing. (I don't get to see the answers, for what it's worth.) It's also completely anonymous. Oh, and every question is optional. So, please, with sugar on top, would you mind clicking here (or the link at the top left), and give them your insights? Pretty, pretty please? Come on, all the cool kids are doing it. I'll be your best friend. First hit's free.

In exchange for your wonderful assistance, I thought I'd share something with you that very few people know about me.

Hmmm.

Thing is, I'm such an open book -- what could you possibly not know about me? Let me think...

...oh, here's something: I can count to 10 in German (although I can't write it correctly). When I was about 7 years old, there was a German woman who lived in our village in the south of Trinidad, and she gave German lessons to all the little kids in the neighbourhood. It's the only thing I remember from the classes. That, and how to say "the grass is green."

Actually, now that I think about it (and am clearly in an asking mood anyway), I'd love to know the same thing about you: what's something about you that most people don't know about?

i think my toddler is on her way out the door

Boyshorts
Alex, excited her father has finally emerged to take her to the pool. And how cute are these boy shorts? Cute, I say.

So, I think I'm about to lose my toddler.

It's funny -- I don't remember the precise moment she showed up -- it was certainly after she started walking, but probably not quite at her first birthday. But now? She's leaving. In her place, it looks like I'm getting a little girl.

A little girl who runs. Not one of those toddler maybe - if - I - pump - my - arms - a - bit - harder - I'll - go - faster type of runs, but actual running. With speed.

A little girl who can ride her bike. I mean, the thing still has its training wheels on it, but this little girl steers. And goes really fast.

And when she goes fast? This little girl says things like "Cool!!" and "See ya later, dudes!"

A little girl who watched The Incredibles once, and now says "Totally WICKED!!" In the right context, no less.

Thank goodness, I really like this little girl. But I have to admit: it's very strange to see my toddler leave and this little girl appear right before my very eyes.

Do you remember what age your toddler left?

the pan collective

Pan
My steelpan

So you may recall that a little over a week ago, I was thinking about starting a new group blog. Since this passing comment illicited a few "woman, are you not busy enough?" comments, I thought I'd share some of my thinking behind this.

About 2 months ago, one of the contributing editors of SHE Caribbean magazine (a regional fashion magazine) asked me to submit an article on Caribbean women bloggers for one of their upcoming issues. This, of course, required a bit of research. In writing the article, I becan to discover that blogging, while huge in the United States, is still in its infancy in the Caribbean. In addition, the women who blog are, to a certain extent, engaging in a revolutionary act * -- because the islands are so small, it is difficult to be outspoken without catching the attention of many -- and many who may know (and/or judge) you in real life. Furthermore, because the Caribbean still tends to be rather patriarchal (e.g., abortion is still illegal, and don't get me started on the local radio station that gave away BOOB JOBS as one of its contests right before Carnival, not to mention its hard-hitting discussion topics it has every day, such as "Men: do you feel like victims when your woman has PMS?"), it's rather unusual for a woman to set up a little corner of real estate on the internet and speak her mind.

So anyway, while I was doing this article, and interviewing all these wonderful West Indian women bloggers, it dawned on me that if the voices of these were harnessed into one blog (in addition to their own blogs), perhaps their collective words would be made a bit louder, and amplify what was going on in the Caribbean. Besides, one of the frustrating things about being from the Caribbean is the fact that most of the rest of the world merely associates us with white sandy beaches, drinks with little umbrellas in them, reggae, and, well.. pot. And we're so much more than that.

And so, for this reason, I started The Pan Collective -- a group blog where I'm lucky to write alongside some of the brightest women who either live in the Caribbean, or are from the Caribbean. The blog is intended to provide personal accounts of life in the Caribbean -- generally positive in tone, sharing what life is really like here in the islands. I figured it was time that the world realized that the Caribbean was more than just white sandy beaches, rum-and-coca-cola, and yellow birds. In addition, my hope is that the writers will also shed some light on some of the issues currently facing (particularly women in) the Caribbean, and hopefully provide a forum for some solutions, and so on.

Anyway, please check it out -- and leave a message. And tell your friends. I think you'll enjoy what you read.

_______________

* Speaking of revolutionary acts, it turns out that one of The Pan Collective's authors, Georgia, who is the Caribbean region editor for Global Voices, has a Chinese colleague who has been arrested by the Chinese authorities -- yet not charged -- a mere 10 days after he was appointed the Northeast Asia editor. In addition to blogging at Global Voices, Hao Wu is also a documentary filmmaker. To date, the reason for Hao's arrest has not been given; however, one of the possibilities that is being considered is that the authorities who detained Hao want to use him and his video footage to prosecute members of China’s underground Churches. You can read more about this here and here.

Here's praying for his freedom.

to my former coworkers: if the image of me in feathers was too much, you might want to lie down after reading this post

Knitting
What will, in theory, become a pullover for Alex

So, yeah, I knit.

Stop laughing.

Yes, I realize that I live in a tropical country (although, you'd be amazed at what some people wear around here. I've seen more parkas here than I did in Houston. And actually, I've already knit two skull caps for Celeste, who works with us. So it's not as weird as you might think). I've actually had an interest in knitting for some time, now -- my sister-in-law, Kate, is a stupendous knitter (she gave me hand-knit socks for a wedding present, knowing how cold I always was in England!), and she inspired me. However, I never had the time to learn until I moved to Trinidad, and so now, I knit. And actually? I love it. It's very meditative this knitting. And so, as my public service announcement to any of you who might be in a soul-sucking legal career who don't knit, permit me to say: knit. It will make you a nicer person.

But I digress.

I'm actually knitting at quite the prolific rate. I've become a whiz at rectangular-shaped things. Seriously, man, you need a scarf? Or, perhaps ... a wider scarf? I'm your man, baby.

(A note: since there's very little use for scarves here in the Caribbean, most of my work product got mailed as Christmas gifts to friends and family in England and San Francisco. Unfortunately for them, I haven't gotten over my little knitting phase -- so guys! Guess what you're getting for Christmas again this year!)

Anyway, this weekend, I decided to go for something a little more challenging. This summer, we'll be spending a couple of weeks in Vancouver in the mountains -- which, if memory serves, is decidedly cooler than Trinidad. For this reason, instead of going for my standard skull-cap-and-scarf combo I've become so well known for, I've decided to knit this little short-sleeved pullover for Alex.

Cute, isn't it?

Yeah, well, not the way I'm doing it.

The good news is that Alex is only 2. Which means she has to wear what I make her wear. So, by God, she'll be wearing this pullover in Vancouver if it kills me. So for her sake, pray to the knitting gods for me, okay?

That is all.*

* Except to say that lest you think I'm the biggest dork in this house, I'd like to point out that as I typed this post, Marcus was sitting at the other end of the table playing computer games with the Biggest Joystick Ever. Seriously. And it makes the entire table shake every time he squeezes the trigger. For the past half hour, it's felt like the Alliance has been attacking the Rebel Forces. THAT, my friends, is sheer dorkitude. **

** You're seriously worried about the two of us now, aren't you? ***

*** If the above didn't worry you, how about this: remember that little hypothetical bet I told you about? Well, I lost. I apparently will be singing "Copacobana" in its entirety in public in or around the San Jose, California area sometime around BlogHer. Pity me. ****

**** If you truly pity me, go over to Mir's site, and tell her that she still should do her rendition of the theme song for Fame. That, my friends, will show your undying devotion to me. *****

***** Okay, that's really all.