Chookooloonks

love is a decision

Many years ago, I was sitting with a friend discussing her recent engagement. My friend and her boyfriend had been dating for some time, and even though it was clear they were meant for each other, their long courtship had been filled with break-ups and reunions. I remember looking at her pointedly:

"I want to ask you a question," I said. "First of all, I think it's great that you and Mike are getting married. But I was wondering: how do you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with him? How do you know you'll love him forever?"

Her answer surprised me: "Well," she smiled, "I know some people were surprised when we actually went ahead and got engaged, considering how rocky our relationship must seem. But the truth is, frankly, I don't think love is an emotion. Love is a decision. And I know I want to commit myself to deciding to love him every day, for the rest of my life. And he feels the same about me."

At the time, I'm sure my twenty-something-year-old self thought her answer was highly unromantic. But as I've gotten older, I've realized she's right: love isn't just that exhilarating rush you get when someone walks into the room. It's is also the decision to consciously love, even when the going gets a bit rough. It's the decision to do something nice for someone when they least expect it, and expect nothing in return.

Coming into the holiday season, I'm thankful that I remembered this conversation I had with my friend so long ago. I think, for this coming month, I'm going to make the decision to love someone every day -- try to do something unexpectedly kind for someone I love, whether it's a family member, or a friend, or a stranger or even a charity whose work I admire. If you're so inclined, I challenge you to do the same.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone. You know how it goes: feel free to leave the links to your expressions of love on each of your sites, or your images in the Love Thursday Flickr Pool. Also be sure to continue to check in at the Love is All Around site, for more love inspiration.

(Incidentally, this is officially my final post for NaBloPoMo -- I've posted every day this month. Predictably, I think it's time for me to take a little break, and spend some quality loving time with my family. You understand, of course?)

Have a wonderful day. May you decide to love, and may someone decide to love you today.

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good morning, sunshine

Today's morning view.

Three good things:

1. Attending a going-away party for a coworker of Marcus' last night, where those in attendance each expressed truly meaningful and heartfelt reasons why he or she was going to miss the guest of honour. Really inspiring.

2. Making the perfect cup of coffee this morning.

3. Having this, and especially this, in my Bloglines. These people get it. It's a scientifically-proven fact.

On that note: have a great day, everyone. May it be merry and bright.

haiti no more

It appears I am no longer going to Haiti: the trip has been canceled, for reasons mostly related to security. There is a part of me that is deeply disappointed: despite all of the traveling I've done in the last 5 years, say, none of it has been to a place that was entirely new to me. I was looking forward to going somewhere where I actually felt like a foreigner, where I could practice another language, where I could expand my horizons. Haiti would've certainly provided me an amazing opportunity.

But then there's this other part? Well, that part is just plain relieved.

In some ways, the relief is irrational. I am, if nothing else, an incredibly seasoned traveler. I've been flying since I was a month old. At last count, I've been to 30 different countries -- not all of them very safe. I've been to Nigeria, where a soldier with a machine gun escorted my every move. I watched the events of September 11th unfold from my hotel room in the Middle East. I used to fly to sketchy parts of the world with hardly a backwards glance. There was a time I'd have charged into Haiti with nothing but the grace of God. And yet, something has changed.

I was telling a friend recently that as little as five years ago, I never used to fear death. In my mind, death happened to everyone, it was the natural conclusion to life, and when it happened to me, I'd be ready. After all, I used to think, I've lived a good life. I'm well-educated. I've traveled the world. What more is there?

Then, I met Marcus. And while flying has never been my favourite mode of transportation, I found myself more and more saying a silent prayer before every trip: please, God, keep me safe. I want to have more time with this wonderful man. Don't let it be my time yet. And then I'd smile, and chide myself for being so melodramatic.

Then Alex was born. And since then, I find my prayers are becoming more and more fervent: please, God, please keep me safe. Alex is so young. I'm not finished being her mother. We're not finished being a family. There's still so much to do.

So even though I won't get to see Haiti, and get to experience the first black independent nation in person, see its vibrant art, taste its incredible French-inspired food, and meet amazing people like Wyclef Jean (and others), there's a part of me that is also relieved that I won't be visiting one of the most corrupt, dangerous countries in the world, as well. Because all of a sudden, considering the risks is actually important.

Because, happily, my priorities have changed.

the most wonderful time of the year

Yesterday, we put up our Christmas tree. While it may seem to some that it's awfully early to decorate for Christmas, trust me when I tell you we must be the last people in Trinidad to get our tinsel and trimmings up -- we were seeing trees up in October, and not just in stores, either. Without pesky Thanksgiving to get through, Trinis start the celebration of Christmas as early as possible -- after all, it is the unofficial start of the Carnival season.

Anyway, here are a few photographs of us doing the deed:

And, of course, our annual family-in-a-Christmas-ball self-portrait:

Fa la la la la, baby.

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right before i beaned him with a christmas ornament

"I don't know...maybe we should have another child."

"Why -- you want to get pregnant?"

Silence.

"Well??"

"Marcus, just because I suggest something you don't want doesn't mean you have to get ridiculous."

"Well, it seems that your being pregnant would be far less stressful than what we went through before."

"Says you! You don't have to carry the baby!"

"SEE? That's half the stress gone already!"

sometimes kids mirror your behaviour. and sometimes it's not pretty.

"Mummy, I'm very, very upset."

"You're upset?"

"Yes, I'm very, very angry with you."

"You're angry with me?? What did I do?"

"You are very, very naughty."

"What? What did I do that was so naughty?"

"You smacked the dinosaurs."

"Oh, I did? Well, I'm sorry. They started it, but I'm sorry."

"That was naughty."

"Yes, I know that now. I'm sorry."

"Go to the Naughty Corner!"

"What?"

"I said 'go'!"

do you know what the secret of life is?

The image above was taken from our television set this afternoon, as we watched City Slickers. I love this movie.

My favourite part is when Curly tells Mitch that the secret of life is "one thing" -- the trick is to figure out what that one thing is for you.

Even though I suspect Curly's right, I'm not sure I've figured out what the secret of life is. I mean, I know that Marcus and Alex are the most important people in my life, and they take priority over everything ... but is that the "secret of life"? Or is there something more?

On that note, I'm off to make oatmeal raisin cookies with Alex. In the meantime, tell me: what's your secret of life?

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what i'll be doing in haiti

Okay, apparently my anti-malarial medication (which, so far, has made me nauseous, and the first day after I took it, made it difficult to see*) has clouded my faculties a bit; so much so, in fact, I've decided it's okay to give you some detail about what I'll be doing in Haiti. I know. I'm nuts like that.

As it happens, Wyclef Jean, of The Fugees fame, is Haitian, and he runs a foundation called Yele.org, an organization whose stated mission it is "to empower the people of Haiti and the Haitian diaspora to rebuild their nation" through combining "the power of music with the tools of development in the areas of education, health, environment and humanitarian assistance." You can read more about their projects here. Next week, in the small town of Jacmel in Haiti, and in conjunction with the Jacmel International Film Festival, Yele.org is hosting Yele Fest, which culminates in Wyclef's first concert in Haiti in 8 years, and is expected to draw a crowd of 50,000.

And my boss has asked me to fly to Haiti to cover the event. On camera. You know, for people to actually see.

I have to say that I'm approaching this with a mixture of fear and unbridled excitement. My fear is due, in part, from the fact that I have read very little that is flattering about Haiti (and the US Department of State isn't helping matters any), plus, I've never worked on camera before -- without a script anyway. I'm excited because I'm going to get to see a country that I otherwise would have never visited on my own, which is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity in itself, never mind the fact that I may get to meet some amazing people in the process.

So, anyway, that's what I'm up to. Needless to say, I have tons to do before I leave on Tuesday, but I managed to get the first important thing out of the way today, by cutting about 2 pounds of hair off my head:

I call this "Haiti Hair." I figure by cutting it this short, there's little to no chance of the wind catching my hair and doing something inappropriate on-camera.

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* Actually, the symptoms haven't been that bad so far. The worst, however, is that I have to take these things for four weeks after I get back, and since they could cause liver damage, I can't drink for the entire time that I'm taking them.

No drinking for 6 weeks.

Through the holidays, until 2007.

Pity me.

love in unexpected places

As usual, this past week there were examples of love all around me (they're everywhere, if we only look), but the expression of love that most moved me this week was a recent post by Jen Lemen. She didn't write this post for Love Thursday, but it's just such an amazing example of showing love and kindess to a total stranger, I wanted to make sure you saw it. Her words stayed wtih me all day, and it reminded me of the following quote I recently read:

Even three times a day to offer three hundred pots of food to the needy does not match a portion of the merit in one instant of love. -- Nagarjuna

For those of you in America, Happy Thanksgiving, and to everyone around the world, Happy Love Thursday. As always, please share your links of love in the comments below, and your images in the Love Thursday Flickr pool. Also, don't forget to check out the Love Is All Around site for more beautiful images, as well.

Many blessings from our family to yours.

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i suspect i'll look not unlike a mangy dog

Quite unexpectedly, I'm going to Haiti -- HAITI! -- on business next week. I can't really give you details (yet), because I can't quite believe it myself, but suffice to say that I'll be doing something I've never done before, and I'll be doing it on camera.

That sounds sort of dirty, doesn't it? I assure you that even though I'm wildly excited about the opportunity, there's nothing unseemly about what I'll be doing.

Anyway, my employer has required that I take anti-malarial medication as a prerequisite for going on this trip. To be honest, I was a bit apprehensive when I heard this. You see, I've taken anti-malarial medicine before for a trip to Nigeria, and if memory serves, the drug I took, Malarone, had the unfortunate side effect of diarrhea. Still, I remember considering myself lucky: most of my coworkers had taken Lariam, resulting in some becoming really depressed, a few having freakish nightmares, and at least one who repeatedly dreamed of killing his wife. So, you know, an irritable bowel seemed hardly anything to complain about.

It turns out that there are different anti-malarial medications which are prescribed, depending on what part of the world you're visiting, since there are different strains of malaria. (Who knew?) After much to-ing and fro-ing with the health authority, I finally received my prescription today, and as of this evening, I've taken my first dose.

The good news? It's not Lariam. It's not even Malarone. It's something called Avloclor.

The bad news? Well, according to Dr. Google, the following are the possible side effects:

Disturbances of the gut such as diarrhoea, nausea, vomiting or abdominal pain

Headache

Skin rashes

Itching (pruritus)

Low blood pressure (hypotension), this might make you feel dizzy

Visual disturbances

Loss of hair colour

Hair loss (alopecia)

Fits (convulsions)

Disturbance in the normal numbers of blood cells in the blood

Damage to the retina of the eye (long-term use)

Discolouration of skin, nails, or mucous membranes, eg inside of mouth

Hearing distubances, eg ringing in the ears (tinnitus) or hearing loss

Anxiety, confusion, hallucinations or strange or abnormal thoughts

Weakening of muscles

Weakening of the heart muscle (long-term use at high doses)

Changes in the electrical signals in the heart (seen on an ECG)

Liver disorders

NICE. Almost makes you want to risk malaria, doesn't it?

Anyway, all this to say: if, in the coming months, you stumble across a video of me with patchy bald spots, apparently blind and definitely scratching, you'll know why. Be kind.

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