a post of endings, beginnings, but most of all, gratitude

When I began Chookooloonks back in early 2004, its sole purpose was to keep family and friends who lived all over the world up-to-date on how our adoption was going. Being as un-web-savvy as I was, I thought making the site private would result in it being far too difficult for them to find -- as far as I was concerned, the obvious reason to make the site public was so people who already knew about it could find it easier.

I know. It made no sense. And I clearly had no idea.

Anyway, as word seemed to get out about Chookooloonks, I remember it coming as quite a shock the first time someone I didn't know commented on the site. Good Lord, I thought, people are actually listening. And even though I found receiving the comments exhilarating, I also realized that I had to be very careful about how I used my words to ensure that my family's privacy wasn't breached, particularly Alex's. I never wanted her to look back and discover that I'd not respected her in some way, by publishing something on the web that she would end up regretting. I also rather quickly made a promise to myself that I would end Chookooloonks sometime before Alex's third birthday, in order to mitigate any chance of that happening. Picking her third birthday was admittedly sort of arbitrary: my earliest childhood memories are from when I was three years old, and I figured it made sense to stop when Alex was at or near a similar age.

Well, my little kumquats, her third birthday rapidly approaches, and lately I can't seem to shake the feeling that it's time to retire Chookooloonks -- at least in its current form. I've decided to replace the journal with a pure photoblog -- to keep my photography skills sharp -- but I'll no longer be updating my thoughts in this format, on a quasi-daily basis.

When I began this blog, I had no idea how much I'd love keeping the journal, considering that I've never been much of a "diary" person. It's pretty amazing how much creating Chookooloonks has helped me both personally and professionally, and as a result, I'm feeling very, very grateful. In particular, I owe thanks to:

- Heather for her doociality; also Megan, for tirelessly answering the neophyte questions of a total stranger ("What is this ... blog ... thing you do?") almost three years ago. It is because of both of them that I took the plunge.

- In no particular order: Tina, Irène, Mir, Jen, Andrea, Chris, Nancy, Kristin, Lisa, Georgia, Tonya, Attillah and Carmen, for extending your friendship beyond the comment boxes on our blogs. I'm better for knowing you. I mean this truly.

And of course, thanks to all of you who have visited here to share your thoughts, advice, encouragement, funny tales and touching stories. Thanks especially to those of you who've taken the time out of your day to e-mail me and let me know how much the site has touched you in some way. Your support has meant more to me than you could ever know or understand, and it's what makes doing this shockingly difficult. I hope you'll continue to visit me at the photoblog (in a few days, the URL http://www.chookooloonks.com will take you right to it), and if you do, I hope you'll leave a comment saying you were there.

Anyway, it's my sincere wish that you'll continue to find ways to express love, both on your sites and in your everyday lives. (For what it's worth, Irène and I will still be scouring your blogs for images for the Love is All Around site, and I'll keep adding names to the kind blogroll as long as you guys continue to show interest). I suspect that I'll continue Love Thursday in visual form on my new site, so, of course, feel free to continue to look for and share links to your images there (and the Love Thursday Flickr Pool) as well. Most importantly, however: I really hope you'll continue to be kind to each other.

Remember: love is the only rational act.

And with that: many, many blessings from our home to yours.

With love,

Karen, Marcus & Alexis

Comments

[Christy]

I will miss your words, but I'm happy to hear you'll be continuing with a photoblog. Best wishes from Seattle.

[tina]

No, Karen. Thank YOU. I'll miss you here but look forward to catching up in person again, over some rum punch on your lovely patio, kidlets running amok.

Peace and love, my friend.

[Anna]

Aw, I hate endings!! But of course I completely understand and want to thank you for sharing your beautiful words with us. I only discovered Chookooloonks a few months ago, but it quickly became my favourite blog. Initially it was because of your stunning photographs; as a keen photographer I really admire your work. But I think the thing that kept me coming back day after day was the genuine kindness of your words. Of course I've never met you, but you strike me as one of those people you meet every now and then who show a rare compassion and optimism. One of those people who draw people to them because they're so damn nice. Thanks for everything you've done in encouraging kindness and love. I look forward to your photoblog!

All the best to you, Marcus and your gorgeous Alex.

Love, Anna (from New Zealand)

[Simply Me]

Hi Karen,

I will miss your sharings very much. Am really glad that you are continuing with your photo blog. Looking forward to it.

Hope that once in a while, you will treat us to an occasional post in your new photoblog.

You have been an inspiration. I have taken to the habit of dropping by your blog whenever I am feeling down. Thank you for your wonderful sharing.

My best wishes to you and your wonderful family. May you enjoy good health and basked in warm and happiness.

Love, Simply Me, Singapore

[Jen]

From someone who has been a bit of a lurker, I can understand your reasons, but I'm glad you'll still have the photoblog! Not only do I hope you'll still post Alex's sweet, sweet face, but it'll still be my little fix when I need a ray of sunshine. Thanks to you, our dream of having a house in the Caribbean (OH's family are Jamaican) doesn't seem so far fetched... Merry Christmas and lots of love from Jen (England)

[Lori]

Thank you for all of your motivating words. I often wonder how people can write a blog and keep there personal life personal. I am a journal writer myself. I have always enjoyed your photos and it looks like I will be able to continue to enjoy them. Thanks.

[Kate]

Oh, rats. I will miss you.

[Pronoia]

Oh, I'm really going to miss you. I adore your positivity.

[Sara]

You have given many bright sparkles to an often dark world. Thanks for letting us tag along on this part of the journey. I look forward to what the next leg brings. Peace and joy to the Chookooloonks household.

[lu]

I do wish you and your family the best of luck. you are a wonderful inspiration.

[Francine]

I'm sad :( But I understand and I'll be checking out your photo blog of course. And we do have a date with a bottle of wine the next time I am in Trinidad :)

[Elspeth]

Blessings on the rest of your journey.

[MamaChristy]

two of my favorite blogs in one week.

Thanks for everything, Karen. Please let us know if you decide to blog elsewhere.

[Susan]

Karen,
I have been reading since (very close to) the beginning. I will miss your kind words, your humor, and your positive energy. Luckily, I will still have your photos!

Wishing you the best of luck. Peace and joy on the journey...

[jen lemen]

oh, so late i've come to this party and now it ends! but sweet blessings on you, marcus and alex. you are a wise mama, and i understand this logic completely. thanks for all the ways you've welcomed me back to the blogosphere, and made this world so much brighter. surely, this decision makes more space for you to do even more to live out the dreams of your wide, loving heart.

xo

[Mir]

Much love coming from my home to yours, my friend. :)

[Yan]

you will be missed. though i do love your photography, it is your words and your unique way of capturing your thoughts that brought me back to this site on a daily basis (not to say that i do not LOVE your photography).

the end of an era...the beginning of something new...

[Menita]

I'll miss your words, but glad your pictures will still be here. That way I will only have to miss half of you.

[Jennifer]

I only discovered you a few months ago and already you are saying goodbye. I will miss your posts. They always brighten my day. Thank you so much for your reminders that life is, indeed, beautiful and people are, after all, full of love. You have brought a lot of love and good feeling to the blogging world.

I would also like to thank you for the candor with which you wrote about Alex's adoption. Reading about your experience has made it infinitely easier for me to be supportive to a good friend who is now in the process of adopting. So, thank you.

Lots of love from my family to yours. And hugs and kisses too.

[Beth]

I certainly respect your opinion, but I will miss your blog. I wish the best of everything for you and your family.

[Natalee]

How very odd that I have a dream about watching you give an interview about your blog on t.v. last night, wake up this morning, log on, and read this?

Your words will be missed, but I am glad we still are allowed to see you express yourself through the medium of photography.

Thank you for trying to make the blogosphere a kinder, more loving place. Best of wishes to you, Marcus, and Alex and Happy Holidays.

[Beck's Mommy]

Visiting Chookooloonks has been an important part of my daily ritual. I am sorry to see it end. However, I will enjoy watching your photoblog grow and develop. thank you for sharing so much of yourself.

[Angela]

You will be horribly missed. Thanks for sharing your world with us, and the best of luck to you! I'll look forward to enjoying the photos.

[Jennifer]

I've been a lurking admirer for far too long. At least now you've inspired me to comment, even if it is for a bittersweet moment. Thank you for the beautiful soul you shared on the pages of this blog. I think we are the ones who are richer for the experience.

Best of luck, to all of you.

[Brinkidink]

Oh Chookie, say it ain't so! Chookooloonks is by far the most positive and uplifting blog I read on a daily basis. Your words and your stories bring so much joy and warmth to my heart. I'll continue to gogogaga over your photos as you happen to be on my most favorite photo artists too. I wish you and your insanely beautiful family all the best in the world and I sincerely hope to see your writing elsewhere in the future.