alex, party of one
Taken this morning. Where the hell did my baby go?
So today I had my very first parent-teacher conference. Do you believe this? Alex is old enough now that I have parent-teacher conference.
To be honest, I went to the conference without much in the way of expectations. Alex's school isn't very large, so I usually see her teacher, T, at least a couple of times a week when I drop her off. Incidentally, I love T -- she's a wonderfully warm, obviously gifted teacher. Generally, I ask how Alex is doing, and T generally says she's doing great. And as I would've guessed, today T said that Alex is showing progress in most every skill. Academically (as "academic" as a preschool gets), Alex is doing fine.
"What I do want to work with her on, however, is socialization," said T.
"Socialization? What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well... I want her to make a friend. She hasn't made any friends."
I looked at her, confused. "She... hasn't? That's strange. I would've never described Alex as shy."
"Oh no! She's definitely not shy," T said quickly. "It's ... I don't know. I just want her to make a friend. It's important. She tends to play by herself a lot. I want to see her engage the other kids."
The thing is...T's right. Alex doesn't play with other kids her age. She never really has. Don't get me wrong: Alex loves children -- as soon as she sees a group of children playing, she'll rush over to them -- and then be fully content just to watch them play, with smile on her face, laughing when they laugh. But she rarely joins in. If she's playing with a toy, and another child walks over and shows interest, Alex will often gamely offer the toy to them with a smile, and then walk off to look for something else to play with. She loves playing in the company of other children, she's just not all that interested in playing with them. It's almost like she regards children like you or I would -- they're lovely, and charming, and so much fun to be around -- but they're kids.
Conversely, Alex likes nothing more than being around adults. She'll stare up adoringly at any new grown-up, smiling engagingly, almost willing them to smile back. When friends come over, she wants the parents to come see her room, and their kids can come along if they'd like. "I want to go talk to Uncle Michael," she'll often whisper to me at a party, and when I respond, "Well, I'm sure Uncle Michael would love to talk to you," she quickly runs over and grins at him, hoping he'll notice and say something. It's like she can't wait to fully grasp the art of conversation.
T strongly recommends that I organize more play dates for Alex, and I certainly see no harm in doing so. But there's a part of me -- the annoying My Child Can Do No Wrong part of me, perhaps? -- that sort of thinks that her affinity for adults and bemusement at children is just kind of Her Thing, and not necessarily something that needs to be "fixed." I mean, by all accounts Alex is a happy, confident, well-behaved, independent kid who really enjoys school -- she's actually disappointed on the weekends, when I tell her that the school is closed. Obviously, I'm biased, but she seems content and well-adjusted to me.
What do you guys think? Is this something to be overly concerned about?
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