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June 8, 2009

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Karen WalrondJune 9, 2009

Karen WalrondMay 13, 2009

karen walrond,

. . . . . . .

words :: images

Hours

daily light

When Hurricane Harvey happened, and our city was devastated by the flooding, a common refrain about the recovery that lay ahead was “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” And intellectually, I knew this to be true, and smugly thought to myself: “I got this.” And I DID have this: I only cried once, about 3 weeks after the storm, but other than that, I steeled my spine, put my head down, and we got to it. I found an apartment for us to stay. We found a builder. We established routines quickly, so Alex could find her footing in her last year of middle school, and soar. And for the most part, it has all worked out great.

But - and here’s the truthbomb - I’ve noticed lately that in all this movement forward, 2 weeks shy of one year later, I’m still dealing with the trauma of everything that happened. I look at photos of myself, and just by looking at my face without any other context, I can tell which images of me were captured before Harvey, and which were captured after. I’ve become sick and resentful of this apartment - intellectually, I understand that we’re lucky to have this space, but it has never felt anything but temporary for us, and as we’ve slowly collected furniture and other items for our new home, it has begun to feel like we’re living in a storage closet. The constant “are you back in your house yets” followed immediately by the “well just be patients” are starting to wear thin.

So.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve tried to focus really hard on self-care — moving more, taking care of my skin, drinking tons of water, that sort of thing — and to some extent, it’s been helping. But Marcus, Alex and I are really just ready for this adventure to be over. Hopefully only a few more months to go.

A view of the Caribbean Sea - goodness, I miss it!

Unrelated: any questions you’d like me to tackle on the #makelightshow? Leave them in the comments, or email me at karen@chookooloonks.com - I’d love to hear what’s on your mind!

A week ago, Marcus and I picked an arbitrary date to begin counting down when our home would be finished: October 31st. It’s a bit aggressive (our project manager promises we’ll be in by Thanksgiving, so it’s 3 weeks earlier than promised), and it’s completely possible we’ll miss the date, but we’re going with it anyway. Today is 91 days until October 31st.
Also, on June 15th I cut all my hair off. There were several reasons I did this, but two big ones: first, I felt like I was starting to be known for my hair and not for me; but the bigger reason was that I felt like my hair had Hurricane Harvey juju in it, and I was tired of carrying that weight around. I may grow it back again - you never know - but for now, I’m relieved that I won’t be moving into our new home with any of Harvey’s remnants on me (that language sounds awkward to type, but it accurately represents how I feel). Finally, two weeks ago in Cayman, I celebrated my 51st birthday. So. Lots of changes now and ahead. But nowhere but up, baby. ✨ #makelight

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