"I am different because I always try to understand.  I didn't want to use the word tolerant, it's too harsh, but that's basically what I'm trying to say.  I think I'm different because I try really hard to see the beauty in what other people might consider flaws.   Eccentricities, tempers, shyness, interests, fetishes, impatience, optimism, pessimism.  I try always to remember that we don't really know people through and through.  We often don't know why they make the choices they make or even if they had a choice at all.

Then I try to understand.  Because, we are in fact all different."

~ Ry Pepper

* * * * * * *

 I've started a Flickr group called "The Beauty of Different," where photographers (amateur and pro alike) are invited to publish self-portraits of themselves, and declare what their beautiful different is.  If you have a Flickr account, I invite you to join and share your beautiful different.  And feel free to add your website, Facebook or Twitter accounts on your submission -- I'd love to give you some link love if I feature you here on the site.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  Ther is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~ Maryanne Williamson

Last week, I met with my publisher to look through the "galleys" of The Beauty of Different -- the galleys are the final form of a book before it goes to the printer to be printed and bound.  It shows the final layout of all the words and images.  And I have to tell you, after a year of having written and edited and re-edited the book, it's a very exciting milestone to reach.

Earlier in the process, when I was doing final edits to the book, I was talking to a friend of mine, Jenny, who was in the process of writing her own book, a memoir, for submittal to her agent in preparation to shop for a publisher (an aside:  she ended up getting the best book deal of anyone I know, both in real life and by rumour.  Jenny is nothing short of a superstar).  At the time, Jenny was struggling with some language, so she asked if I would come over so she could read what she'd written to me, because it helps her to hear it out loud, and feel the reaction of the audience.  Since Jenny is wildly hysterically funny, I happily agreed.

The next day, I drove to Jenny's house.  After her reading session (and I was pulling myself back together from weeping with laughter), our discussion turned to my book.  "How's it coming along?" she asked.  (Full disclosure:  Jenny actually appears in my book, but on this particular day, she had only previously read the text of the few pages in which she appears.)

"Oh, it's coming!" I said.  "In fact, my publisher just sent me final edits of the layouts.  Would you like to see it?"

"Absolutely!"

I logged onto my email on her computer, and downloaded the colour manuscript.  "Oooh," she breathed.  "It looks beautiful.  Would you mind if I read it?  It'll be a good break from working on my book." 

"Of course, I'd be honoured," I responded.  "And actually, I'd love some honest feedback of what you think.  Since it's all new content, with none of it having ever appeared on my site or online, I'd love to hear if it works."

A few days later, Jenny called me.

"Dude."

"Tell me."

"I love it."

"Really?"

"I do. To be honest with you, I wasn't planning on reading the whole thing," she admitted.  I laughed.

"It's true.  I was just going to read a couple of chapters to get a feel for it, and the put it down and get back to my work.  But I couldn't put it down.  I kept turning the pages, and every page there was a new beautiful image, or something cool to read.  A couple of times it got really heavy and heartbreaking and I would think, 'okay, I'm not going to able to read much more than this, because it will make me sad,' and then as soon as I would think that, you (or the person you were featuring) would say something funny or uplifting or awesome.  I read the whole thing in one sitting."

"Oh, I'm so glad!"

"Seriously.  I wish I had this book when I was a teenager.  It would have been good for me to read then.  Or hell, it's good for anyone who ever experiences any self-doubt, or is ever unhappy about some aspect of themselves.  People need to read the message in this book."

She began talking about the details of the stories of the people featured in the book, but to be honest, I was too excited to hear much of what she was saying.  I was thrilled that she thought the experiences that I wrote about, both mine and those of the generous, beautiful people who shared their stories with me, would resonate with readers of the book.  

And so last week, as I was looking at the final galleys, I remembered her words.  As my publisher and I gave the manuscript a final look-through before sending it to the printers, I breathed silent thanks that we had come this far, and a wish that on October 15th, when the book is finally released to the world,  the world sees what Jenny saw in its words and images.

The Beauty of Different is available for order from Bright Sky Press and Amazon.  Consider picking up a copy for yourself or someone you love today.

Sanele

Last week, I received the following email:

Thought you'd love reading the piece.

She was right:  I did.  And so, with her permission, I thought I'd share it here with you.  Thanks Sanele!

Uniquely Beautiful

You’re a single mother raising one, two or more kids alone.

Somewhere amongst the 24hours you have received for today,

You have to juggle work, kids, other family, friends, meet deadlines,

Attend to children’s needs and yet still have time for yourself.

THAT is your story, what makes it unique is YOU.

Own it.

Little girl, you have your 15^th birthday coming up next month.

You have homework, friends, mum and dad, siblings that all require a piece of you.

Somewhere inside of you is a young woman trying to break free.

Enough stresses already.

You’re precious, your story is unique.

Embrace it.

Hey 36 year old wife and mother of three.

Yours is yet another uniquely beautiful story.

Tell the world how you got to be where you are today.

Tell your children how much pain you went through to bring them into the world

And whilst you at it, don’t forget to mention the joy they’ve brought into

your life which in turn has made every sleepless night worth the while.

You’re a woman with a different story to tell.

Let your voice be heard.

I see you 21 year old; trying so hard to find your path in life.

Of course there is one for you!

Maybe you just need a little more time to figure it out

But I promise you, you will find it

A path that’s specifically and exclusively designed for you.

You are special

Chase those dreams, live out loud

The sound of your music is unique

Play it loud enough, get some of the world dancing.

Be heard.

72 year old, your eyes speak of so much wisdom acquired through the years.

The grey hairs are a sure sign YOU HAVE LIVED!

Your stories are a treasure that only experience could give you

Let the world know of the many paths you’ve trodden, for they’ve all

come together to knit out a different path for you.

Your story stands out.

There never will be another you.

In the story of YOU, you are the main character.

Own your story!

Baby girl, sister, girlfriend, wife, mother, aunt, and friend

You each have a unique story to tell.

From the things that consume half of our time, the laughs somewhere in between, a shared tear or two here and there, the smiles, quiet moments alone,

to the big and small triumphs all the way through to our beliefs, gifts and talents

are the things that make us all unique.

We each have a different story to tell.

The story is yours.

You make it count

Because of that one thing that makes you stand out, your story is unique.

Whatever it is that makes you, you.

Embrace it.

The story is yours and about you.

Own it!

~ Sanele Ndebele

"I am different because my mind has always seemed to function in a slightly different way from most others. I once felt weird, but now I see that it is a gift. The way I see the world, my inner dialogue, thrives on creativity and sees beauty in everything-- it is so connected to what I feel my purpose is in this life. Now I celebrate my uniqueness."

~ Hannah Mayo

* * * * * * *

I've started a Flickr group called "The Beauty of Different," where photographers (amateur and pro alike) are invited to publish self-portraits of themselves, and declare what their beautiful different is.  If you have a Flickr account, I invite you to join and share your beautiful different.  And feel free to add your website, Facebook or Twitter accounts on your submission -- I'd love to give you some link love if I feature you here on the site.

"The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

~  Helen Keller

I love the following quote (shared by the lovely Sarah Brown) by Ann Druyan, about her relationship with her late husband, astronomer and cosmologist Carl Sagan.  While I do believe in God, I still believe this is a lesson for us all, regardless of faith or nonfaith, particularly when it relates to the relationships we have with the people we find beautiful:

"When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me-it still sometimes happens-and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous-not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… . That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful… . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful."

Remember:  if you love, and if you are loved, you are beautiful.  Take a minute -- even just one minute -- to celebrate this.

Have a great weekend.

"leaving ellis island" by Heidi Marie Gardner, aka magiclanternarts

"I am different because I used to hate my eyes. They drew attention. A mixture of green and blue and yellow. My eyebrows, too. The dark mixed with the light. Now I know they represent more. The beauty that others always saw is in their difference. I see it now, too. They are a gift to me from my ancestors. A bundle of recessive genes and dominant ethnicities all ending up in one place."

~ Heidi Marie Gardner

* * * * * * *

I've started a Flickr group called "The Beauty of Different," where photographers (amateur and pro alike) are invited to publish self-portraits of themselves, and declare what their beautiful different is.  If you have a Flickr account, I invite you to join and share your beautiful different.  And feel free to add your website, Facebook or Twitter accounts on your submission -- I'd love to give you some link love if I feature you here on the site.

Now that's a theory I can get behind.

Grab your favourite beverage, set aside 20 minutes, and watch this.  Trust me, you're going to love it.

"Pretty is something you're born with.  But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective."

~ Unknown