I have a split-personality relationship with photography, I think: on one hand, ever since I bought my first SLR camera (film, back then), I've always used it as stress relief: whenever I've felt a bit down, I've grabbed my camera and gone on a little photowalk. Almost without exception, I feel much calmer after having done so. Photography is a way for me to meditate, for me to breathe.
On the other hand, photography is also my job: I shoot for almost everything that I write, whether or not it's for Chookooloonks, or other online publications, or even print publications. Because of this, I'm required to go out and shoot as often as I can -- sometimes it's for a particular project; other times it's just to ensure that I have a good inventory of photos in my archive. For the most part, this doesn't feel like work, because I love photography so much.
It doesn't feel like work, that is, until it does.
For the last few weeks -- ever since returning from our holiday, I'd say -- I've had absolutely no interest in shooting. In fact, most of the images that I've shared in the last couple of weeks are from my archives, taken on our holiday or before. This is strange for me -- I'm never not in the mood to shoot -- but what makes this episode particularly odd is that I just got this brand new, turbo-charged, ultra-awesome beast of a camera. Normally, I would be creating all kinds of reasons to shoot, but for some reason this past week? Every time I'd look at the camera, I'd all but utter:
Meh.
Then this evening, as I was packing for yet another trip (I leave tomorrow), I could feel the stress building, my shoulders tightening, and right when I was about to completely lose it, I noticed the D4 sitting on my desk, and decided to abandon everything and walk around our incredibly overgrown garden just to see what I might find.
The results are above -- and I'm embarrassed to admit that I had no idea that there was so much going on in our yard: that there were pecans on our pecan tree, or limes on our lime tree, or that there were even tomatoes ready for picking. I've been going at such breakneck speed (and traveling almost every week for months), that I hadn't stopped to just breathe.
Guess I needed the reminder.
* * * * * * * *
So, remember I told you that I'm working with CafeMom on a new video series? Well, the time has come: I leave bright and early tomorrow morning for New York (or, possibly New Jersey, I'm not entirely sure which) (I told you I was stressed), to tape all of the episodes over the next few days. We've been working really hard over the last few weeks, and I'm really excited to see how it's coming together in person.
Because I will be on set (<-- I can't believe I just typed that) for the next few days, I'm not sure how much opportunity I'll have to blog or shoot; for this reason, I've decided to go easy on myself, and not think about it to much -- if it happens, it happens.
And I'll remind myself, that if I feel a bit stressed, just to grab the camera and breathe.
More when I return, friends. Have a great week.
Song: Empire State of Mind (Part II) Broken Down by Alicia Keys
