daily light

In a little over a week, Alex will begin her first year of high school. "It feels like the beginning of the rest of my life," she said to me a few nights ago, and I can't help but agree -- to some extent, it does feel that way. And as she goes into this new era of her scholastic life, I'm really proud of her: - She's really funny. Lord, this child is funny. I don't think there's anyone on the planet who can make me weak with laughter like this kid. And her wit is clever. And incisive. And culturally relevant. And political. And wry. - She goes out of her way to make people feel included. Alex is the one who'll spot the new kid from across the room, and make sure he's welcomed. She's been this way since she was born, and it's one of her greatest gifts. - She's smart, but more importantly, there's nothing she can't do if she sets her mind to it. When she wants to make something happen, she'll make it happen. - She's creative. If there's a way to interpret or explain or express something through some sort of art form, she will find a way.

As a parent, there are tons of things that I know I'll worry about as she enters her high school years, but honestly, that's my job. Her job is to remain curious. I hope the next four years are filled with her trying new artistic and creative passions, and she learns about her own gifts, and how she'd like to use them to shape her own life. I hope she tries new adventures, knowing that her dad and I are here to guide her along the way, while at the same time, she becomes her own person, ready to one day be independent of us. And I hope that by the time senior year comes to an end, she's ready to soar. (Actually, that last sentence is the one thing I'm NOT worried about. She'll be ready.) ✨

#makelight

Some people get massage for self-care. Me, I get henna, specifically from Soniya at her @originalhennacompany. Although Soniya is a scientist, she and her family have been doing henna for generations. Her business has been a go-to destination for South Asian and Middle Eastern brides all over Houston. I love going to her for times when I feel a transition happening in my life - often my birthday, but also times like now when I feel like my life is at the cusp of an evolution in some way. There’s something about connecting with Soniya while she makes her art (usually inspired by what I tell her is going on in my life), while I feel the cool henna being applied to my skin, and its smell: a combination of eucalyptus and other delicious scents. It’s so restorative.

Thanks so much, Soniya. May your own upcoming sabbatical be as healing and restorative - and a wonderful, wonderful adventure! ✨

When Hurricane Harvey happened, and our city was devastated by the flooding, a common refrain about the recovery that lay ahead was “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” And intellectually, I knew this to be true, and smugly thought to myself: “I got this.” And I DID have this: I only cried once, about 3 weeks after the storm, but other than that, I steeled my spine, put my head down, and we got to it. I found an apartment for us to stay. We found a builder. We established routines quickly, so Alex could find her footing in her last year of middle school, and soar. And for the most part, it has all worked out great.

But - and here’s the truthbomb - I’ve noticed lately that in all this movement forward, 2 weeks shy of one year later, I’m still dealing with the trauma of everything that happened. I look at photos of myself, and just by looking at my face without any other context, I can tell which images of me were captured before Harvey, and which were captured after. I’ve become sick and resentful of this apartment - intellectually, I understand that we’re lucky to have this space, but it has never felt anything but temporary for us, and as we’ve slowly collected furniture and other items for our new home, it has begun to feel like we’re living in a storage closet. The constant “are you back in your house yets” followed immediately by the “well just be patients” are starting to wear thin.

So.

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve tried to focus really hard on self-care — moving more, taking care of my skin, drinking tons of water, that sort of thing — and to some extent, it’s been helping. But Marcus, Alex and I are really just ready for this adventure to be over. Hopefully only a few more months to go.

A view of the Caribbean Sea - goodness, I miss it!

Unrelated: any questions you’d like me to tackle on the #makelightshow? Leave them in the comments, or email me at karen@chookooloonks.com - I’d love to hear what’s on your mind!

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