a dose of reality

My camera's in the shop (and my other one stopped working -- !!), so I went digging deep into the recesses of my archives to find this image to share with you.  I'm sort of surprised I haven't shared it before.

I started this week still feeling a bit uneasy from the weekend -- and out of the blue, the phone rang.  It was my friend Kelly Rae, who was just checking in on me.  I actually haven't spoken to Kelly Rae since I was in Oregon, and it was such a pleasant surprise to hear her voice on the other end of the line.  Kelly Rae is one of those lovely people that before you know it you find yourself spilling out everything -- all your ugly thoughts, all your petty worries, all the gremlins that make you think you're not good enough -- and she listens with humour, with laughter, and makes all your worries go away, just by telling you the truth.  And let me tell you, I so let it spill last night, too.  I told her everything -- all my fears, all my paranoia.

"Karen," she said, at the end of the conversation, "the fact is, you're always going to worry if you're good enough.  You're always going to worry how you're going to make money at this.  You're going to worry about generating new business.  And you know what?  When you're actually successful, you're going to worry that people are going to discover that you're a fraud."

"But the thing is," she continued, just as I was about to slit my wrist, "that's all part of it.  The worry is what propels you.  And the truth is, you're good at what you do.  You know you have connections, people who love you, who support you, and who are cheering you on.  You're going to do fine.  The worry is just one small part of becoming successful.  You'll see."

And somehow, hearing it out loud made all the difference. 

Song19-2000 (Soulchild Remix) by Gorillaz