random thoughts: on rebirth and evolution
A couple of weeks ago, as I was sitting listening to Jonathan Fields speak, he said something that stuck with me. I don't remember his words exactly, but it was something like:
They say, when you launch a new business, that the first year is the toughest. They're wrong. It's the second year that's the toughest. In the first year, you're coasting along on the euphoria and belief that you are launching something really big, and the sky's the limit. Your excitement helps propel you forward. It's the second year, after you've dealt with a few setbacks and challenges, and you start to second-guess yourself, that's when it gets hard.
I so agree. For me? It's the fourth year.
(I always was a late bloomer.)
Recently, I've been going through a period where I'm second-guessing every move I've made. You would think, having made the leap from my corporate career into this current life of mine over three years ago, that I would be over it, By now, I should be comfortable with how I make my living, right? But for some reason, these last few weeks I've been wondering if it would be right -- prudent, responsible, even -- for me to return to my law practice.
In fact, as long as I'm being totally honest, the truth is that I've been driving Marcus crazy with this latest bout of angst.
But (as Marcus keeps pointing out), I really, really love what I do. I love writing, and shooting, and speaking. It's what I want to do all day, every day. And I never had that feeling when I was practicing law. Ever. That feeling -- that love -- should count for something, shouldn't it?
And so, for the foreseeable future, I'm going to keep on keeping on. I'm going to operate under the assumption that this judgment and self-criticism and uncertainty I'm putting myself through lately is here, as Jonathan puts it, to "provide the information needed to create at higher and higher levels." That, just like the euphoria and excitement of the first year, the purpose of this uncertainty and trepidation is to propel me forward.
Besides, today is the first official day of spring. It seems perfect to focus on rebirth and evolution right about now, don't you think?
Today is the last day to register for the spring session of the Chookooloonks Path Finder. Thanks to all of you who have already joined me! I'm so excited to begin next week -- it's going to be a great time of introspection and redefinition, which I think is perfect for the beginning of the spring season.
If this sounds like fun, and you haven't already, you can register here. I hope you'll join us. The course begins this Monday, March 26th.