random thoughts: sometimes focus is overrated
I have a pretty quintessentially Type A personality: I am sensitive, impatient, and an invariable planner. I have to be at the airport a minimum of 2 hours before departure time (three, if it's international). I consider arriving at a destination 5 minutes early "on time." I take deadlines very seriously, even if they're self-imposed. And needless to say, I am all about a to-do list.
So unsurprisingly, as we approach Christmas (and some associated, planned family travel), I've made a pretty extensive list of thing that MUST. BE. COMPLETED before we head out of town. I wrote it all in my journal, complete with colour-coding and highlighting, not to mention a healthy dollop of determination. I was going to Get Things Done, by Jove. I was ready.
That was a week ago, and I've run into a problem: my heart just isn't in it. Oh, I'm managing to get things done for people who are depending on me to turn things in with no problem, but as far as my self-imposed deadlines? I couldn't care a whit about them.
Naturally, I started to feel guilty about not caring more. Which made me feel worse.
But then I wondered: what if I focused less? What would happen? It was an intriguing thought: it would likely mean taking some work with me on our trip, but even so, I would haven't to work a lot -- maybe a couple of hours every day. It would mean that I would relax into the Christmas season more -- I wouldn't feel guilty about doing something with my family in the evenings, or on weekends. It might mean that it takes longer to get things done, but given my personality, they would most certainly still get done, just at a more leisurely pace.
This past weekend, Marcus, Alex and I made a quick run up to Austin on an errand, and on the way back I noticed that the setting sun's rays were peeking through the clouds. I wanted to grab a shot, and in my hurry to capture it before the clouds moved, the first shot I took was completely out-of-focus -- although the second and third shots were fine.
Guess which one I liked the best?