« authentic you interview series: brené brown (and a fabulous giveaway) »
Over the past two years, I've spent a weekend away on the Oregon coast with 13 pretty extraordinary women. The first year, in 2008, I only knew two of them -- and one of the ones I didn't know was Brené Brown. When I found out she was coming, I did a bit of research on her: I learned she was a professor at the University of Houston, and a renowned researcher on the provocative subject of shame. I also discovered she was the creative mind behind the wildly inspiring blog, Ordinary Courage.
She was, I therefore presumed, way out of my league.
Still, for some reason that year I was feeling rather bold, so I thought I'd go ahead and email her and see if she would like to meet for coffee in advance of our upcoming trip to the coast. She politely agreed, but then because of an unforeseen circumstance, she had to cancel. No matter, I thought to myself. After all, she's way out of my league anyway, right?
However, by odd coincidence, on the evening of the afternoon we were supposed to meet, Marcus and I had date night. As we were enjoying our drinks and tapas at a small Spanish restaurant, I looked over and saw Brené.
"Marcus," I said. "I think that's Brené Brown, the woman who's going to be in Oregon with me, the woman I was supposed to have coffee with today. I think I'm going to go say hi."
I walked over to her table, where she was sitting with her husband and family, and attempting to have a peaceful dinner. I tapped her on her shoulder.
"Excuse me," I said, "are you Brené Brown?"
"Yes!" she said, immediately standing to her feet with her dazzling smile.
"I'm Karen Walrond," I said. Her face didn't register any recognition. "From, um, Chookooloonks?" I continued, hesitantly. "We're, um, going to be in Oregon together?"
"OH MY GOD!" she immediately exclaimed, grabbing me by both of my shoulders and pulling me into an unexpectedly tight hug. "OH MY GOD. It's so nice to meet you! Except, of course, I was planning on losing 10 pounds before seeing you in person!"
It was at this moment that I knew -- I was certain -- that Brené was absolutely My Kinda People.
Since that night, Brené has become one of my most treasured friends. If you've read her book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't), you know she's a gifted academic; however, in real life and in fact, she's an amazing, down-to-earth, kind and generous soul as well. For this reason, I'm thrilled to share with you a little more about her, via my modified Proust Questionnaire. Enjoy (and then read further for a fantastic giveaway):
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1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? No question -- being at home with my family. The perfect moment: I'm cooking with the back door open, and I can hear the kids and my husband Steve playing and laughing. I'm piddling around and listening to good music.
2. What is your greatest fear? (a) Loss and grief. (b) Rodents. (c) Sharks.
3. Which living person do you most admire? I try not to admire people I don't know. It's too easy to fantasize. Of the people I know, I admire my parents the most.
4. What trait do you most deplore in yourself? Ironically, I don't like how hard I can be on myself. I guess you could say that I deplore self-deploring. I'm working hard to give it up.
5. What trait do you most deplore in others? Sneakiness and passive-aggressive behavior. I like my crazy right up front.
6. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? Snarkiness and disrespectful irreverence are not "traditional" virtues, but they are certainly popular in today's culture. People who don't know me are often surprised, but I'm pretty old-school. I'm a first-born rule-follower. Manners matter.
7. What or who is the greatest love of your life? No question -- Steve. We met when he was 17 and I was 21. It was literally love at first sight. We were lifeguards and coached a swim team together. That was 23 years ago. He's legal now.
8. Which talent would you most like to have? Sing and play the guitar -- like Maria in The Sound of Music.
9. What is your current state of mind? Contemplative, spiritual and grateful.
10. What do you consider your greatest achievement? My marriage. It's incredibly hard work.
11. What is your most treasured possession? My family photographs and my wedding rings. One of the rings belonged to my grandmother, and the other belonged to my great aunt.
12. What is your superpower? My superpower is probably connected to my work. I think it's observing human behavior and seeing, then naming, the subtle connections that help us make meaning of our thoughts, behaviors and feelings.
13. What is your motto? It changes depending on my mood and what's going on in my life. Lately it's been "progress, not perfection." A few weeks ago, it was more along the lines of "easy does it, Tiger."
14. What do you most value in your friends? Authenticity, compassion, trust and humor.
15. Which word or phrase do you most overuse? "Shut up!" and "Dude!" I'm 44. It's kinda ridiculous.
16. What is your greatest extravagance? Face products.
17. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Authenticity, compassion, trust and humor.
18. What is the quality you most like in a man? Authenticity, compassion, trust, humor and cowboy boots.
19. On what occasion do you feel the most authentic? Honestly, the older I get, the less I consider authenticity an option. I work hard to feel authentic everywhere I go. Having said that, I don't like big groups or small talk. I'm the most comfortable when I'm with family and friends.
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She's lovely, isn't she? And that's not all: Brené has recently released her brand new DVD, The Hustle for Worthiness, her recent 50-minute lecture on love and belonging -- and she's kindly allowing me to give one away here on Chookooloonks. Simply leave a comment below, with your answer to the following question:
On what occasion do you feel the most authentic?
and I'll pick one commenter at random to win Brené's DVD. I'll keep comments open until midnight Monday night/Tuesday morning.
Can't wait to read your responses!
Song: American pie by Don McLean. Because as I sat in the audience before Brené began her talk at the taping of The Hustle for Worthiness, this was playing on the sound system, and the entire audience was singing along.
Sun, March 7, 2010
Reader Comments (98)
I tend to feel my most authentic when speaking about my artwork. I've been told that I light up when talking about it and I just feel like it's often a vehicle in which I connect on a deeper level with people.
When I say stories of my past, I am very authentic and sincere. They are real and to hide or even change them is impossible because there were those who have witnessed these things happen.
I feel my most authentic when I am at camp. I spent most if not all of my summers there growing up, starting as a staff kid then camper then last year as director! My closest friends, and those who know me best, at my best and at my worst, I met at camp.
It's a place of non-judgement. It's a place of joy. It's where I am me.
I try to be authentic all the time, but am probably most true to myself when I am in small groups, talking with a friend, or with my husband.
I adore Brené! Her answers were fantastic and make me wish I could spend a weekend in Oregon with her, too!!
I feel most authentic when I am with my husband and children. I can simply be me.
It has to be when I'm writing ... when I am at the keyboard, letting it flow ... it's real, frequently gut level, and always authentic.
Hmmm, I feel at my most authentic when I'm by myself or with people who know me well enough for me to feel safe - although sometimes speaking to a room full of strangers I feel as grounded in my authentic self as it is possible to be, especially if I'm talking about something that I really care about.
What a beautiful post - thank you so much for sharing!
I feel most authentic when I am writing...blogging, journaling on scrapbook layouts, or even simply writing emails to friends. My voice is clearer and more genuine on "paper."
At my age I like to think that I am comfortable enough with myself to be authentic all the time, however I am sure that probably isn't true - BUT I'm getting better at it every day! I believe that I am most authentic when I am in a familiar and comfortable situation, when I know I am safe with the people around me.
Wonderful post, thank you for sharing.
I'm the most authentic when I'm taking pictures. Not only do I feel that I am sharing a part of myself with others, nature, the universe, etc., but I also feel that I am allowing a little inner part of me, that is usually hidden, free. It's a great feeling.
Awesome post, thanks for sharing with us!
xo
meg