a new york minute

Last week, I was in New York City. It was a quick trip: just two nights, and I had work events on both nights. But on my second day, I had some time to walk around the hotel’s neighbourhood, so I did.

I have to admit to being somewhat overwhelmed by New York City. It’s not because it’s a big city — Houston’s not exactly tiny, and I’m fine whenever I’m in London, despite its comparable population to New York. I think it has something to do with the skyscrapers and the constant car horns … I don’t know. But the upshot is that whenever I’m in New York, I’m vaguely on edge: both hyper aware of my surroundings, but also trying to be mindful that I’m in one of the most fascinating cities in the world, and I should take some time to take it all in.

Which, as it happens, is the state I was in seconds before I took the photo above. I’d just had a leisurely lunch, reading and journaling, when I decided to take a walk before heading to my hotel room to prepare for my evening event. As I made my way along the crowded streets, I could feel the tension settling into my shoulders. So I stopped and took my cameraphone out for a little beauty-spotting.

Unfortunately, as soon as I raised my phone to take the shot, I came thisclose to clocking a man who was passing in front of me in the jaw. He ducked wildly, like Neo dodging bullets. I recoiled in embarrassment.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” I said, flashing an apologetic smile. He didn’t even break stride.

“Nah, sis, you good.” He smiled back, rising to his full height and continuing on, without skipping a beat.

I took my photo and began walking back toward the hotel, in the same direction that he’d walked. I ended up catching up to him just as he was entering a building. I tried to avoid eye contact and quickened my step.

“Sis. Sis!”

I looked at him.

“Sister, I just wanted to tell you that you have a great smile.”

Now, I smiled in gratitude. “Thank you!” I answered. He nodded as he turned to enter the building. I kept walking.

That whole exchange — from my random act of near-violence to his random act of kindness — happened in less than a minute. I haven’t stopped thinking about our interaction since it happened, and I realized that the steady stream of news media I’d been recently ingesting had likely exacerbated my stress as I walked around the city — but that small moment of connection had shifted the trajectory of my day. His impromptu nonjudgment and kindness in that moment had restored my faith that there is still good in the world.

I had forgotten.

This past weekend, almost seven million people took to the streets to protest the policies of the current US administration, in one of the largest single-day protests in American history. Despite many members of the president’s political party calling them “Hate America rallies,” the footage showed folks who were motivated by their love of country and love for each other. While I personally would be happy to see more creative ways that put far more pressure on the administration, forcing them to realize their duty is to the best interests of all of its citizenry, it was still heartening to see so many people come together in a spirit of caring for each other and caring for the most marginalized of American society. I’m doubtful that these demonstrations will have much effect on the policies coming out of the White House. Still, I think the protests’ message to all the countries of the world that millions in this country do not support the administration’s inhumanity is not nothing.

I’ve said many times that kindness is a power move, but I also believe that communal compassion is an act of rebellion. And I remain convinced that when we care for each other, we can change the world. So when I see these little glimmers of compassion — whether in the generosity of a stranger met on a busy New York City street, or in the smiles of millions of protesters fighting for their own civil rights and those of immigrants and the marginalized, I can’t help but think of the words of author Arundhati Roy: